Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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