Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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