We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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