After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
