it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize