so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
