ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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