Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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