I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
