If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
