My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
