So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize