She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
