I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
