Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
