I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
