Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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