Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
