My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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