I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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