He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
