Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
