so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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