Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
