TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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