I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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