He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
