mondays should just be called national damage control day
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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