I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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