At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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