i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
