Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
