Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
