It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize