do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
