Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
