looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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