You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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