i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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