gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
