even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
