Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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