I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize