We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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