she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
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i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
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Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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