Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I hate all girls vehemently.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
