i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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