Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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