Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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