hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
