definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
