Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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