guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
