Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize