Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
