I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
