she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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