Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
