Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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