So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
