I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
