Non-Jews are for practice
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
